Somewhere something big went wrong….. You do not know where it went wrong, or perhaps you know exactly, but your marriage is not what you want it to be. There is continual silence, or perhaps a continuing situation of conflict between you and your partner that implies infinite stress and unhappiness.
You do not know which way to go and everything points to divorce as the only option. Think again…. Divorce is radical. It’s more than just you and your partner, there are many other people involved. But mostly it has an influence on the children. It has a disruptive effect on children. It affects the children’s self-esteem, and also leads to other outcomes such as unruly behaviour of children, rebellion, depression, youth crime, youth suicide, teenage pregnancy, extra-marital affairs etc. If you are able to avoid divorce, then do it for your children.
You owe it to yourself to get therapy. Marriage counselling isn’t there to create a conflict-free relationship and a marriage that is straightforward to configure. It is concerned with the question: how can we handle the existing problems in a constructive manner? How can we turn the marriage crisis into an opportunity for profoundness and growth? This conflict is seen not only as deterioration of one another and to be more removed from each other, but as part of a growing process for loving intimacy. Counselling is not just about behaviour management, but also the adventure where spouses discover each other all over again.
Relationship problems are never just one party’s fault. But if your partner does not want to attend counselling, it can still be beneficial if you come alone. You can change your behaviour and learn how to handle certain situations better.
Let divorce be your last option. You can not separate before you haven’t even tried to save your marriage. Don’t become part of the statistics. There’s always hope for recovery. Every marriage has the potential to be different and better too. I can help.